Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Two Dogs Behaving Badly

Morgan and Lilo are good time Charlies. Two dogs behaving badly. At Elings Park, the two raid unsuspecting picnickers with reckless abandon, proudly carrying off their booty of foot long subs and chicken wings. They steal candy from children. Morgan and Lilo have mastered the "Who Me??" expression. They bark, just because it feels good. The other morning, Morgan and Lilo stumbled upon a homeless encampment off  Leadbetter beach. Jackpot. Half eaten cans of chili, plenty of stinky things to roll in. As the dogs ransacked their camp, a dreary eyed homeless fella raised his head and shouted to me, "Hey buddy can I give you some advice?" "What" I answered, a bit embarrassed as I attempted to round up my furry hooligans. "Next time, get a cat.", he muttered. Morgan and Lilo barked all the way home. Smelly with chili breath. It was a good day to be a dog.

Friday, June 25, 2010

The Cult of Apple

The line wrapped around the block. And this was the special "reserved" line. I had one day to pick up my new iPhone  I reserved at the Santa Barbara Apple store. Along with hundreds of others. The line moved slowly. Post Office slow. DMV slow. 1 1/2 hours and still waiting and I felt abused. The crowd cheered enthusiastically when security allowed another pathetic soul into the store. We all took one step closer.  This is ridiculous. Apple Store employee Mimi cheerfully greeted me  when I finally entered. But my niceness had long since evaporated.
"I'm in a bit of a hurry, Mimi, I would just like to purchase my phone and get back to work."
"No problem" says Mimi, " but first can I interest you in Mobile Me?"
"No thank you"
"...Apple Care?"
"... more text messages?"
"No, please..."
"... perhaps a nice case?"
"... Do you want fries with that?"
"NO!" My God, get me out of here!

I rushed out of the store, phone in hand. I voluntarily signed up for this abuse, but let me tell you, I don't have to like it.